In line with Father’s Day, CinemaWorld sat down with the co-founders of Bros Before Woes, a Singapore-based men well-being and growth initiative, to speak about the struggles of first-time fathers, navigating fatherhood and healthy masculinity.

The Origin Story: Bros Before Woes

It began with a simple question: "Where are all the good dudes?"

The founders of Bros Before Woes—three friends navigating work, life, and masculinity—noticed a troubling pattern: many of the men they encountered were struggling, isolated, or difficult to connect with. They realised how rare it was to find "good bros"—men who could offer support, guidance, and honest conversation through life’s ups and downs.

The phrase "Bros Before Woes" flips the old saying "Bros Before Hoes" on its head. The name highlights the real struggle: men’s inability to process emotions, societal pressures, and the loneliness of modern masculinity.

Fatherhood in Cinema: The 6 fathers that started our conversation

Our conversation was centered around six powerful films, each portraying a different facet of fatherhood. These stories don’t show perfect dads—they reveal struggling, flawed, and deeply human men navigating parenthood in ways rarely seen on screen.

What makes a father?

We discussed the Tunisian-French film A Son (2019) which shatters conventional notions of fatherhood with one devastating premise: What happens when you discover the child you love isn't biologically yours?

1. Fatherhood Is Chosen, Not Inherited

The film forces us to ask: Is DNA what makes a dad? Fares' journey shows that real fatherhood lives in the daily choice to love, protect and show up—even when life delivers the ultimate betrayal.

2. Boys Need Father Figures, Not Just Fathers

As Kit explains: "Every boy is raised by every man in the village. Presence isn't always good, absence isn't always bad—what matters is having role models who teach what healthy masculinity looks like."

This reflects ancient tribal wisdom where multiple men helped shape boys into men—a concept Bros Before Woes seeks to revive in modern society.

3. The Child's Perspective Matters Most

The film's power comes from the son's unquestioning view: Fares is his father because Fares has always been his father. 

As Titus shared “he knows no other father in his life.When he thinks of father, the only person that comes up is you - like this person.”

The Silent Struggle: What First-Time Fathers Really Experience

Antti, a Finnish dad from Man and A Baby (2017), is thrown into the deep end when his partner walks away from motherhood shortly after their baby is born. Similarly, Erik in Take It or Leave It (2018) is blindsided when he learns his ex has put their baby up for adoption, so he steps up to raise the child himself. In Cloud Under The Roof (2022), Paul’s fatherhood takes a heartbreaking turn when his wife dies in an accident, leaving him to navigate the aftermath and raise their young daughter while grieving.

As a first-time dad, Titus shared frankly that fatherhood’s challenges are real but rarely validated. From role confusion (“sort of running around like a headless chicken, trying to figure out where I can plug in”) to “the loss of autonomy and gaining of a lot of responsibility”, first-time dads often find themselves overwhelmed and at a loss about their new position. 

Titus’ best advice? 

“The first most important thing for new dads is to go find other new dads, so you don’t feel alone in the struggle. You are not weak, not pathetic, or just not coping well. You need support.”

In another question posed by Kit, he asked Titus if there was any way expectant dads can be prepared. 

“I think being a parent is just not something you can go to school for. It’s just something you have to get in and learn.” 

Titus strongly recommends first-time dads attend pre-natal classes to understand how best to support their new families.

Breaking the Cycle: Is Traditional Fatherhood Driven by Hypermasculinity?

In Brado (2022), Renato—recovering from an injury—needs help running his ranch. His estranged son returns, and what begins as a tense reunion slowly turns into a chance at healing, as they work together to train a wild horse for a cross-country race.

In I Have Electric Dreams (2022), Martín is a struggling alcoholic and once-absent artist whose teenage daughter unexpectedly shows up at his doorstep. Their interactions are messy, uncomfortable, and deeply human, as the two attempt to understand each other across the wreckage of past wounds.

Drawing parallels to Asian context, dads are highly revered figures who hold themselves with a great deal of pride and stoicism. Is this an approach driven by hypermasculinity?

Drawing from his personal experience, Kit concludes that many fathers inherit and perpetuate cycles of emotional distance and unexpressed needs—just as father and son are in Brado (2022). It's about unhealthy coping mechanisms masquerading as strength.

Kit describes how men often replicate their fathers' behaviors: "Cold, distant, just like his father before him... we don’t know how far it goes back."

Titus pointed out how defensive behaviours become an armour for dads. When fathers hear "you’re falling short," they often respond with "But I work so hard!"—a defense mechanism born from feeling unseen. Traditional fatherhood has conditioned men to equate vulnerability with weakness, leaving them unable to say: "I need to feel appreciated."

Putting Down the Mask: What does Healthy Masculinity look like?

At Bros Before Woes monthly sessions, called Bros Nights, healthy masculinity is the celebration of the courage to be human. Many fathers still wear "The Provider/Protector Mask", which means being a rock that never shows cracks.

At Bros Nights, there is a belief that “When one man puts down his mask, it gives the rest permission to put down their masks as well.” Participants are encouraged to share about their woes openly without judgement, to connect with others over their internal struggles about purpose, their careers, relationships and more. 

Kit and Titus also shared about how the whole of society can support the ongoing conversation of healthy masculinity, beyond Bros Nights. This Father’s Day, let’s start a conversation with the men in our lives - partners, fathers, brothers and sons.

Watch our full interview with Bros Before Woes on CinemaWorld Youtube channel this Father’s Day!

 

For more Bros Before Woes content/resources, do check out

Bros Before Woes website: https://brosbeforewoes.com/

Bros Before Woes Instagram: @brosbeforewoes.sg

Kit’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/zikittoh/

Catch our 6 Father’s Day films on CinemaWorld and CinemaWorld On Demand today.

• Man and A Baby

• Take It or Leave It

• Cloud Under The Roof 

• Brado

• I Have Electric Dreams

• A Son

* in selected territories

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